MyPoopIsRonnie&Brown Press Conference-Week 10

Opening Statement:  I bet that you reporters expect me to come out here and tell you how disappointed I am in my team, don’t you?!? Well I’m sorry but you won’t get that out of me……NOT TODAY!  We are playing great football right now.  We have scored 90 or more points in seven of the first nine games and four out of the last five.  My boys are preparing the right ways, making the right decisions, and playing their asses off week in and week out!   One of these days guys…..one of these days, we will play a team that scores less than us.

What are your thoughts on being 2^nd on the waiver list?  Honestly, it sucks.  We don’t feel like we can better ourselves at the moment.  There is not a single player on our roster not capable of putting up big numbers.  And frankly, the free agent options just plain suck right now.  Next question.

How do you feel about riding a league-worst 4 game losing streak?  It feels great! We are all yippity doo dah and ecstatic about it! Are you serious with that question?!? We are livid! But are we going to mope around and fuss about it? Hell no! It will only make us practice longer and play harder.

What are your plans with Miles Austin and Ochocinco?  At this point, it wouldn’t bother me one bit if they both didn’t show up to my practices the rest of the year.  I mean, I spend all week preparing both of them with plenty of reps in practice.  Then we get into a game and complete one pass to each of them?  These guys are premier receivers and have to be utilized better out there.  Sure, I’ll admit that they don’t see a single play anymore in single man-to-man coverage.  They are both always doubled up, but so is Hakeem Nicks.  We really aren’t concerned with their play at this very second……we have some guys that are ready to step into our WR1 and WR2 spots.  They go by the names of Steve “can’t touch this” Johnson and Mike “too fast too furious” Williams. 

What do you think of your matchup this weekend with the Illegal Alien Babies?  The Illegal Alien Babies are beginning to find ways to win ball games.  The idea scares the living daylight out of me.  They are winning games right now and we aren’t, plain and simple.  Coach Darrell Campbell has made some key acquisitions, picking up Jacob Tamme and several others.  We know that the Illegal Alien Babies like to run several trick plays.  We have been preparing for plays such as “The Annexation of Puerto Rico”, “The Crowded Minivan”, and even “The Dirty Sanchez”.   Let’s just hope our defense shows up this weekend.

Do you feel like your team still has a chance at the playoffs?  I never imagined a game between two last place teams could mean so much.  We have to get back on the winning track to stand any chance at getting to the playoffs. Let me end this losing streak first and then get back to you on that one. Thanks, that’s all for now.

Coach Daniel Campbell stands up and rips off his shirt displaying a painted message on his chest…..

” Aarón Hernandez no tiene una tarjeta verde ! Hahaha!” (Yes, Coach Campbell has a large chest.)

Week 9 Recap

Game of the Week: Young Gun Football (131) @ The Hail Marys (139)

Talk about a slugfest! This game had it all. The Hail Marys raced to a huge lead behind a flurry of points from the noon wave of games on Sunday, led by the foaming at the mouth tailback of the Browns, Peyton Hillis, who put up 31 points. Not to be outdone, however, Young Gun Football rode Eli Manning and Ahmad Bradshaw in their rout of the Seahawks to the tune of 49 points to make it a game again after the 3:00 games had concluded. Two touchdowns from Brandon Jackson for The Hail Marys and a dominant defensive performance from the Packers led the two teams into MNF tied at 113 with Terrell Owens left to play for The Hail Marys and Rashard Mendenhall getting touches for Young Gun Football. Coach Jason Young's squad threw the first punch on Monday night, with Mendenhall racking up seven points on a short touchdown run in the game's opening minutes. Coach Tara Campbell quickly rallied her troops and TO was on the receiving end of a touchdown pass halfway through the second quarter of action. At halftime, Young Gun Football took a slim 126-125 lead into the locker room. Mendenhall received a number of touches in the second half to chew the clock while his team was in the lead, but the conservative offensive strategy did not result in him finding the endzone again on this night. On the other side of the field, Terrell Owens was leading the attempted comeback for the Bengals, finishing his night with 10 catches for 141 yards and 2 touchdowns to pull out the victory for The Hail Marys.

MyPoopIsRonnie&Brown (96) @ The Pessimists (101)

Coach Daniel Campbell led his Poop squad into battle with a tough non-divisional battle against Lightning Division leader The Pessimists. Despite having five players score in double digits, Coach Campbell received a sub-par passing game from Peyton Manning and wide receiver Miles Austin was virtually nonexistent at Green Bay on Sunday night. Despite it all, the Poop squad had a chance with the league leading Steelers' defense needing 15 points to tie on MNF. Despite creating numerous turnovers on the night, Coach Campbell's squad fell five points shy of their comeback attempt. On the home sideline, Coach BJ Hudson got a monster game from quarterback Philip Rivers and also got great production from Hakeem Nicks in the flex spot. The Pessimists needed all the production they could get as they received a combined 11 points from their two running backs.

Charlie's Redrockets (81) @ One-Man Wolf Pack (109)

It was feast or famine for members of Coach Matthew Campbell's sqaud this weekend as five of his players scored in double digits and the other four members scored five points combined. Leading the way for the Redrockets was quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who put up 33 points behind 3 touchdown passes against the maligned Dallas Cowboys' defense. Due to byes and injuries, Coach Campbell was forced to mix and match his stable of running backs which eventually led to his downfall. On the home sideline, Coach Zach Maddox maintained possession of first place in the Lightning Division behind a 26 point performance from running back Adrian Peterson and a huge game from the Saints' defense.

Illegal Alien Babies (75) @ Riley's Vikings (47)

The Spanish speaking Alien Babies had five players score in double digits and overcame a rough performance from their defense to pull out a huge victory over Riley's Vikings. Waiver acquisitions Jacob Tamme and Josh Freeman led the way for Coach Darrell Campbell, scoring 16 and 17 points respectively to lead their team to victory. Despite solid performances from Tom Brady and Sebastian Janikowski, the rest of Riley's Vikings were virtually nonexistent in the loss. In a closed door meeting after the game with his players, Coach Adam Warren could be heard screaming profanities and breaking things in the Vikings' lockerroom.

Safety Blitz (56) @ Hit Squad (138)

Coach Phillip Campbell had a rough first trip to Montery as Coach David Looper hammered him early and often with no lubricant in this one! Safety Blitz had only two players score in double figures in this one as they struggled to get their offense on track for the second consecutive week. Coach Looper had 7 players score in double digits, led once again by Arian Foster with 31 points from his running back position and Michael Vick with 27 points in his first game back under center.

Quote of Note:

Overheard in the midfield handshake after the game between Coaches Phillip Campbell and David Looper was this reply from Coach Looper to a congratulatory handshake from Coach Campbell: "Yes, you got thumped. Vick wins dog fights."

Pickup of the Week:

The waiver claims of the week for Week 9 go to Coaches Darrell Campbell and Matthew Campbell. For Darrell, Jacob Tamme of the Colts put up 16 points in leading his team to victory. For Matthew, running back Javarris James scored 2 touchdowns and put up 13 points in keeping the Redrockets within striking distance early on in their matchup.

Near Protest:

In the Green Bay versus Dallas game on Sunday night, the Packers' kickoff coverage team recovered a fumble and scored a touchdown, resulting in eight points for Coach Jason Young's squad. However, the replay clearly showed the Cowboys' return man to be down with possession of the football. With 2:04 to play on the game clock, the only way the play could be reviewed was for Coach Wade Phillips to throw the red flag. The Cowboys were out of timeouts and therefore could not challenge the play, letting the blown call stand as called. On the home sideline, Coach Tara Campbell had to be restrained as she went after officials and the league commissioner with a flury of expletives and what some are saying was a punch thrown in the direction of the commissioner. Despite vowing to protest the play, Coach Campbell has not made a formal protest with the league office as of this morning.

Manger Predictions:

1. Phillip Campbell 3-2 (60%)
2. Daniel Campbell 3-2 (60%)
3. Jason Young 3-2 (60%)
4. Darrell Campbell 2-3 (40%)

Updated standings will be released in the Week 10 Preview later this week.

Current Standings:

Based on league tie breakers, here are the actual league standings after nine weeks of play:

1. One-Man Wolf Pack
2. Riley's Vikings
3. The Pessimists
4. The Hail Marys
5. Young Gun Football
6. Hit Squad
7. Charlie's Redrockets
8. Safety Blitz
9. MyPoopIsRonnie&Brown
10. Illegal Alien Babies

The waiver order has been changed to reflect these standings.

League Notes:

The Lightning Division went 4-1 versus the Thunder Division this week...Teams using three wide receivers went 1-1 this week...No team used a twin tight end set this week...Week 10 is the last week with byes in the NFL...Five teams scored over 100 points this week...The Hail Marys posted a league high 139 points this week...Aaron Rodgers and Philip Rivers led all players with 33 points this week...Arian Foster and Peyton Hillis scored 31 points each to lead all running backs...Terrell Owens scored 26 points to lead all wide receivers...Jacob Tamme and Aaron Hernandez led all tight ends with 16 points each...David Akers booted 4 field goals to lead all kickers with 15 points...Green Bay forced 4 turnovers and scored 2 touchdowns to lead all defenses with 28 points.

Illegal Alien Babies Post Game Press Conference-Week 9

Estamos muy orgullosos estar en este país y permitió hacer esta declaración. Nuestro equipo jugó muy muy buena esta semana, nosotros hemos reunido nuestro equipo de los jugadores que los equipos norteamericanos no desean. No sólo pueda jugamos futbol bueno, pero podemos tabicar una casa mejor que usted también. ¡Nuestro entrenador Darrell Campbell ha sido muy paciente con nosotros y nos permitió mover nuestro juego a su nivel más alto todavía, nosotros le debemos nuestras oportunidades a él! Buscaremos a unos pocos jugadores buenos esta semana, si encontramos que aprueban, si no bueno, haremos debido. Si estorba nuestros deseos tienen cuidado el Cartell. ¡Eso no es una amenaza, es una promesa! ¡Podemos ser ilegales y juveniles, pero MECEMOS!

Young Gun Football Press Conference-Week 9

Opening Statement: “We have got to get back to playing Young Gun style football! We won our first four games, but have won only once in our last four games.  Two of those have been to our division rival One-Man Wolfpack. That is totally unacceptable. I have challenged our guys this week to make a statement to the league and show them that the road to the Confederation Cup comes through us.”

On this week’s matchup with the Hail Mary’s: “The Hail Mary’s have done a tremendous job this year of winning football games. Coach Tara T-Bone Campbell has shown the tenacity and ferocity that it takes to succeed in the cut-throat BHFFC. Unfortunately for her, she sends her troops on the field against a team that is like a powder keg ready to explode. We have had a tremendous week of practice and look like a well oiled machine. Eli and Bradshaw look rested and extremely sharp after their bye weeks and getting Desean Jackson back in the lineup will be a big boost.  We need a big performance from the Packer D and we have to stop Old Man Favre and keep T.O. from getting in the end zone. Overall, I like our chances this week, but make no mistake about it – The Hail Mary’s will be ready to play.”

On being mistaken for Danny Woodhead at media day yesterday: “I’ve got a lot of respect for Danny. He’s a short stocky guy like myself and plays like a rampaging beast. Coach Campbell made a great decision to add him to her roster. I almost signed him earlier in the year after watching “Hard Knocks”, but went with Green-Ellis instead. This game could come down to whichever one of those guys gets the points for the Patriots. Danny is maybe an eyelash taller than me, but if he wants to go toe to toe, I think we all know how that would turn out for him!”

On the Randy Moss trade: “Did he get traded to or from Young Gun Football? No?  Then I don’t really care! Next question.”

Commenting on league parity: “I’m still amazed at how close the league is bunched up right now. I feel that over the next few weeks we should start to see a pecking order develop. That is why the next four games are so important. You just have to find a way to win. Take Coach Dan Campbell for instance, he leads the league in points, but is in last place in the Thunder Division and struggling to find a way to win. Every week in this league is kill or be killed and I think it is great!”

Closing Statement: “Hail Mary’s will need to say a few of those this week if they want to leave this game victorious.”

Week 9 Preview

Game of the Week: Young Gun Football @ The Hail Marys

This non-divisional matchup pits two teams who are separated by only one game in the standings. Young Gun Football comes into this game off of a tough loss and looking to maintain a hold on first place in the Lightning Division. Coach Jason Young will welcome back quarterback Eli Manning and running back Ahmad Bradshaw following their bye week. On the home sideline, The Hail Marys enter this contest riding a league-high two game winning streak. Coach Tara Campbell welcomes back Peyton Hillis to her backfield following his bye week and is hopeful that the Vikings' defense can wreak havoc against the turnover prone Arizona Cardinals. This game could come down to who scores the most touchdowns for the Patriots this weekend-BenJarvus Green-Ellis or Danny Woodhead.

Game of the Week II: Charlie's Redrockets @ One-Man Wolf Pack

Charlie's Redrockets have won two straight games and are hot on the heels of first place in the Thunder Division while the One-Man Wolf Pack is coming off a huge victory to reclaim a stake of first place in the Lightning Division. Coach Matthew Campbell is hoping for a big day from quarterback Aaron Rodgers and a team effort from the rest of his starters as he looks to extend his winning streak to three games. On the home sideline, Coach Zach Maddox has six players projected to score in double figures as he hopes to overwhelm the Redrockets with his playmaking ability. Look for this game to be decided on MNF.

MyPoopIsRonnie&Brown @ The Pessimists

The Poop squad is coming off another tough loss and looking to get back on track in negative town against The Pessimists. Coach Daniel Campbell is hoping for a big performance from his running back stable and continued strong play from his defense to pull off the victory. For The Pessimists, Coach BJ Hudson is looking for continued improvement from rookie running back Ryan Matthews and is hopeful that the big toe of Jahvid Best can continue to hold up in Detroit. Look for this game to be decided by the number of turnovers created by the Pittsburg defense on MNF.

Illegal Alien Babies @ Riley's Vikings

For the Illegal Alien Babies, Coach Darrell Campbell hopes to have found the missing pieces of the puzzle as he plugs Mario Manningham and Jacob Tamme into his starting lineup for the first time this season. If Josh Freeman and LaGarrette Blount continue to produce as they have in recent weeks, the Aliens could be a team to watch in the second half of the season. Riley's Vikings, in first place in the Thunder Division, will look to Tom Brady and a three wide receiver set to continue to be the divisional pace-setter. Coach Adam Warren is hopeful that his New England defense can take advantage of rookie quarterback Colt McCoy and the Cleveland Browns. The key to this game may be backup running backs Willis McGahee versus Mike Tolbert.

Safety Blitz @ the Hit Squad

These two teams are preparing to do battle with bragging rights of Molina's swing on the line. Safety Blitz enters this contest on the heels of a narrow loss and needing a win to maintain pace in the Thunder Division. Coach Phillip Campbell welcomes back Roddy White and LeSean McCoy following bye weeks and is hopeful for another big day from his Chicago Bears' defense. The Hit Squad welcomes back their three-headed monster at running back, Arian Foster, Ray Rice, and Cedric Benson as they fight to stay in the race in the Lightning Division. Coach David Looper is hopeful that Michael 'The Dog Catcher' Vick can run wild against the Indianapolis defense on Sunday afternoon. This game should come down to Benson's ability to run the football against the Steelers' defense on MNF.

Mike and Mike

In an ironic move this week, Coach Daniel Campbell dropped Seattle wide receiver Mike Williams from his roster following a lack of production. His nameplate in the locker room was not removed, however, as his replacement was none other than Mike Williams of the Tampa Bay Bucaneers. When asked about the coincidence, Coach Daniel Campbell stated, 'I don't know what the hell you're talking about.'

Translator Controversy

There seems to be some major communication issues between BHFFC league members and Coach Darrell Campbell of the Illegal Alien Babies. All of Coach Campbell's team slogans and dialogue is printed in Spanish, yet none of the other league members understand what he is saying, therefore making communication very difficult. Following the lead of Ozzie Guillen, Coach Campbell has filed a petition for more leniant translation rules in the BHFFC.

Manager Prediction Standings

Minimum 10 games picked to qualify

1. Adam Warren 10-5 (67%)
2. Phillip Campbell 18-16 (53%)
3. Daniel Campbell 22-20 (52%)
4. Jason Young 12-12 (50%)
5. ----------------------------------
6. Matthew Campbell 4-1 (80%)
7. David Looper 2-1 (67%)
8. Darrell Campbell 1-4 (20%)

League Notes

As of press time, there have been 13 roster moves this week...Illegal Alien Babies and Charlie's Redrockets lead the league this week with three moves each...Illegal Alien Babies lead the league in overall transactions with 30...Kickers have been the most popular position changes this week, as eight kickers have either been dropped or added from rosters this week...One-Man Wolf Pack is projected to lead all teams in total points this week with a whopping 108...Aaron Rodgers is projected to lead all players with 23 points...Adrian Peterson is projected to lead all running backs with 18 points...Roddy White and Greg Jennings are projected to lead all pass catchers with 12 points each...Antonio Gates is projected to lead all tight ends with 9 points...Ryan Longwell is projected to lead all claimed kickers with 11 points...Green Bay and Minnesota are projected to lead all defenses with 14 points each...All five games this week are non-divisional matchups...Young Gun Football has the largest positive differential between points for and points against with +58.

Safety Blitz Press Conference-Week 9

Opening Statement: It's been a good week of practice for us and we are excited to play on Sunday and get the taste of losing out of our mouth. We have a tough, tough matchup this week against the Hit Squad. It's going to take our best effort to have a chance. We have to get back to playing hard-nosed, fundamental football to get this thing turned around.

How did the wager payoff go with Coach Tara Campbell? The wager has been settled. It wasn't the positioning I was hoping for, but it is what it is. Enough said.

What is your strategy this week going against former base coach companion David Looper? It's going to be a tough grind. Coach Looper is a good old country boy and Montery, TN is one of the toughest places to play in the nation. Those people over there are about as rabid of football fans as there are. We have been blaring "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" through our loud speakers all week to prepare for their theme song and the noise level in that place. There stadium sits down in the ground so the volume is just deafening. Our guys will be prepared though as we have practiced down in Loretto, TN all week to get as similar of an atmosphere as possible.

Were you worried about your players getting into mischief this week in Loretto? Hell no. Not at all. The kingpin of Loretto, Mr. Joshua Lee Sundance Bob Lop the Bartender Hughes, is locked up somewhere in Sumner County right now so I knew there was nothing to worry about. My players were safe.

What are you plans at the tight end position this weekend? That's going to be a game time decision. Cooley is out with a bye so we are contemplating our options. We have had a few discussions with other teams on a possible trade but nothing has worked out as of yet.

What is it going to take to win this weekend? The same thing it takes to win every week in this league-heart, effort, and a relentless passion to win. It's just like a wildabeast on the African plains; if you let your guard down for one second, that's when the hyenas move in for the kill. Just when you think it's safe to take a drink from the pond, that's when the croc strikes from the murky waters. We have to play four quarters of Safety Blitz football. We have to be the hunter and not the hunted. We have to smell blood in the water. WE HAVE TO GO INTO MONTERY AND TAKE WHAT IS OURS!!!!!!

Week 8 Recap

Game of the Week: Hit Squad (73) @ Charlie's Redrockets (75)

Charlie's Redrockets picked up a huge win and successfully defended their home turf with a two point victory over the Hit Squad. Staked to an 33 point lead behind another monster game from tight end Antonio Gates, Coach Matthew Campbell had to hold his breath as the Hit Squad sent out Arian Foster and Reggie Wayne on MNF. Utilizing their trademark bend but don't break defense, the Redrockets gave up 31 points before assuming the victory formation late Monday night. With the win, the Redrockets moved into a tie for 2nd place in the Thunder Division while the Hit Squad fell into 4th place in the Lightning Division.

Game of the Week II: Safety Blitz (69) @ The Hail Marys (72)

In round two of the spouses, The Hail Marys received double digit performances from four of their players to race to an early lead that they would never relinquish. Donovan McNabb (16), Maurice Jones-Drew (14), Danny Woodhead (11), and Terrell Owens (18) led the way for Coach Tara Campbell's squad as they pulled to within one game of first place in the Thunder Division. Safety Blitz made a valiant comeback effort behind 20 points from the Tampa Bay defense, but it was too little, too late for Coach Phillip Campbell's squad.

Illegal Alien Babies (77) @ The Pessimists (97)

Despite a breakout 22 point performance from tailback LaGarrette Blount, the Alien Babies fell in this divisional matchup with The Pessimists. The Alien Babies also received big games from Brandon Lloyd and newly signed quarterback Josh Freeman, but received zero points from the tight end, flex, and kicker positions combined. The Pessimists had five players score in double digits while pulling into a three-way tie for first place in the Lightning Division. The key to this game was the previously mentioned tight end, flex, and kicking positions as Coach BJ Hudson's squad outscored the Alien Babies 28-0 at these spots.

Young Gun Football (88) @ One-Man Wolf Pack (92)

Playing for the second time in three weeks, the Wolf Pack pulled off another narrow victory over Young Gun Football. While the lineups were different due to byes, this game was another classic between the two pace setters in the Lightning Division. Coach Jason Young's squad was all or nothing in this one, as five of his players scored in double figures while the other four players scored six points or less. Coach Zach Maddox received 20 point games from Drew Brees and Adrian Peterson and overcame a shaky performance in the kicking game to secure the victory. The Wolf Pack outscored Young Gun Football 41-22 at the running back position to win the head to head tie breaker for post-season play.

MyPoopIsRonnie&Brown (97) @ Riley's Vikings (109)

Needing a 34 point performance on MNF from Peyton Manning, Coach Daniel Campbell could only dial up 22 points in falling to Thunder Division leader Riley's Vikings. Despite huge games from Jamaal Charles and kicker Dan Carpenter, the Poop squad seemed to be distracted by possible league sanctions for their team's name changes. Coach Adam Warren received a dominant performance from Calvin Johnson and had four other players score in double digits in moving into first place in the Thunder Division by himself.

Pickups of the Week:

Three waiver claims all produced big performances in Week 8 and they were all three members of the Tampa Bay Bucaneers. For Coach Darrell Campbell's Illegal Alien Babies, quarterback Josh Freeman scored 19 points and upstart running back LaGarrette "Right Cross" Blount ran for 22 points on Sunday. Coach Phillip Campbell of Safety Blitz started the Tampa Bay defense to the tune of 20 points.

Manager Prediction Results:

1. Matthew Campbell 4-1 (80%)
2. Jason Young 2-3 (40%)
3. Phillip Campbell 1-3 (25%)
4. Daniel Campbell 1-4 (20%)
5. Darrell Campbell 1-4 (20%)

Updated manager prediction standings will be released on Friday in the Week 9 Preview.

Tight Races:

After eight weeks of play in the BHFFC, not much has been settled in the two divisions. In the Lightning Division, Riley's Vikings hold a slim one game lead over Charlie's Redrockets, Safety Blitz, and The Hail Marys while MyPoopIsRonnie&Brown lurks at two games back. In the Thunder Division, the One-Man Wolf Pack is in a three-way tie for first place with Young Gun Football and The Pessimists. The Hit Squad is two games out of first while the Illegal Alien Babies are three games out of first place. More importantly, the Hit Squad is one game out of the sixth playoff spot and the Alien Babies are only two games back.

No Fines:

After eight weeks of play, there have only been two fines levied against league members for a total of $4. Ironically, the fines were issued to the league's founders; Coaches Jason Young and Phillip Campbell.

Tight Games:

The total margin of victory in all five games during Week 8 was 41 points for an average of 8.2 points. Take away The Pessimists 20 point victory, and the average margin of victory was 5.25 points. Two games were decided by three points or less.

League Notes:

Riley's Vikings scored a league high 109 points in Week 8...Riley's Vikings was the only team to break the 100 point barrier in Week 8...The Thunder and Lightning Divisions are 8-8 in head to head matchups this year following Charlie's Redrockets victory over the Hit Squad...Calvin Johnson led all claimed players in Week 8 with 28 points...BenJarvus Green-Ellis led all running backs with 24 points, albeit from the bench...Peyton Manning and Drew Brees led all quarterbacks with 22 points...In what has become a redundant statement, Antonio Gates led all tight ends with 18 points...Dan Carpenter bombed a 54 yard field goal to lead all kickers with 19 points...Tampa Bay used two 'pick six' plays to lead the defenses with 20 points...Teams using three wide receivers in Week 8 went 1-2, falling to 6-16 on the season...Teams using twin tight ends went 1-0 in Week 8, improving to 3-1 on the season.