Safety Blitz in Disarray

Printed with permission from the AP

Portland, TN- With the rising of the sun this morning, Safety Blitz found itself with a disappointing 2-3 record following their 78-64 defeat to the previously winless Illegal Alien Babies and surrounded by controversy. Rumors are swirling concerning the job security of Coach Phillip Campbell as well as numerous position coaches and players.

Following the conclusion of last night's game, Coach Campbell refused to speak to the media. He was seen, however, in a heated discussion with his team owner in his office that is rumored to have turned violent as the medical staff was called to the office within minutes that the two began to meet. The owner of Safety Blitz was also unavailable for comment.

The problem stems from the continued lack of production from key positions. In this week's defeat, Safety Blitz received a combined four points from five of their players. There seems to be dissention in the locker room as well, as quarterback Tony Romo was quoted as saying, "I put up 28 points. I can't do it all." Star running back Adrian Peterson offered little support for anyone in the organization, simply stating that "I'm a man. I come to work, do my job, then I go home and drink beer. What everybody else does is their own problem."

The controversy began late last week when the team failed to pick up a kicker for this week's matchup. While some believe that it was a sign of loyalty to his players, others believe it was a lack of focus from the leadership of the organization. It is believed that the front office believed they could defeat the winless Aliens without a kicker. Coach Phillip Campbell worked out three kickers last week, including Josh Brown from the St. Louis Rams, so the truth behind those rumors seems unlikely.

Previously this year, Coach Campbell fired his defensive coordinator and special teams' coach. However, those units have not improved much under the new staff. Safety Blitz has scheduled a press conference for later this week and it is believed that more coaching changes may be imminent. Just how high up the ladder those coaching changes will be is yet to be seen.