Young Gun Football Press Conference-Week 6

On this season’s first loss: “Losing is never acceptable! Period! We faced the league’s top offense and hung with them, but in the end we have got to have more production in our passing game. Eli Manning upstaged his brother, but our wideouts simply didn’t play up to our standard of excellence. Our defense had some mental breakdowns and let Matt Forte carve us up like a Thanksgiving turkey. I told our guys afterwards to stop thinking so much, line up, put your hand in the earth, and play some GD football! I tip my cap to 4^th and Schlong, they were well coached, ready to play, and went home with a W.”

Commenting on this week’s matchup with the One-Man Wolfpack: “This game is for 1^st place in the division and I expect a hard fought game. We had some guys out last week with byes and injuries, but we should be back at full strength this week. I expect us to play with the tenacity of a team battling for their lives. I don’t care if we lead the division or are in last place. Our mission is to win at all costs. We have to do a better job of run defense and not let the Pack devour us like hungry carnivores. We have had a good week of practice and even though I know the One-Man Wolfpack will be ready, I believe we will come out on top this week.”

Commenting on how much of a thrill it would be to be the #1 seed in the BHFFC’s inaugural playoffs: “PLAYOFF’S? WE’RE TALKING ABOUT PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFF’S? We have played 5 weeks and you’re talking about playoffs? A bigger thrill for me would be to come over there, take that scandal sheet you call a newspaper, and beat your ass with it! PLAYOFF’S (laughing)!

Closing Statement: “You sport’s writers better not come in here with any more of these garbage questions. I will make Bobby Knight look like the Pope if any one of you pathetic excuses for a journalist asks me one more ignorant question. This organization has one mission and that is to win every game we play. I don’t care if it’s week 1 or the Confederation Cup, YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! Now, get the hell out of my office before I really get mad and hurt somebody!”