Coach Campbell: Good evening, I would like to start off by saying how good it feels to be back. My staff and I are looking forward to another great fantasy football season in the bhffc. It is both a privilege and an honor to be a part of this league. I am not surprised in the least to see that we are already expanding after only one season. It speaks highly of the top notch job that is done by our commissioners as well as the dedication and performance of our coaches. With that being said, I will open the floor to any questions you may have.
Travis Lawson: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Break their freakin' necks!!!!! Whooooooo!!!!!!!
Coach Campbell: Thanks Lawdog, I agree completely. Looks like we may be getting the Sharpies out later.
McSweeny: Campbell it was a great idea having your press conference and cheerleader's calendar photo shoot together at my lake house. When will the models get here!?
Coach Campbell: Great question. Warren's mom and sister will be arriving shortly. They will alternate months 1-12. Coach Phillip Campbell posed a great question concerning women to me the other night and I look forward to seeing how the Warrens "stack" up.
Lstan: (yelling) Hey! This better not take away from your time coaching the real Cougars of E. A. Cox! This bottle is slipperier than a minner's pecker.
Coach Campbell: Why are you yelling at me? I have allotted plenty of time for coaching both middle schoolers and professionals. I aim to take both teams to the top.
Big Al: Kody just took a dump in my yard and I stepped in it.
Coach Campbell: That wasn't Kody and you should wear shoes when you go outside. Tell Granny to take the curse off of me. And tell the dirty chicken he is welcome on my team any day of the week.
Vincent: I think the schnauzers have died, Richards hasn't been outside in years, and big Peg is thinking about joining the Big TD's.
Coach Campbell: Where the hell did you come from Vinny? Pat and Bill secretly call the cops on you when you shoot fireworks and I think Peggy would be a great fit on the Big TD's. She will, however, need to contact Bone for that. I'm glad, and surprised, that you are still alive.
Lawson: Stampedes!!!!!!!!
Coach Campbell: On that note I will wrap this up. I would like to thank everyone for coming. I look forward to playing in our annual Coaches onside kickoff this weekend on the beautiful campus of MTSU. Let's Go Blue!!!!! Take it easy, and if it ain't easy don't take it.
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