Coach Campbell--It feels good to get in the win column. Our crowd, which is nothing but Cougars hand picked by yours truly, were a little uneasy after week 1's defeat. Hot women don't like being with losers. But I assured them during last Wednesday's nude massage and hot tub session that the team was fixing our problems and would perform better in week 2. Most coaches spend all their time practicing football, but I believe that you have to spend quality time with your fan base as well. Especially when your fan base is made up of nothing but exotic women age 30 and up. In addition to our massages we also have trampoline day, mud wrestling, sleepovers, best picture text contests, and weekly meetings at Tootsies and the Bunganut Pig. I have a great relationship with our fan base and it pays off on the weekend.
Reporter--Coach it sounds like all that you do is flirt with old women.
Coach--Thank you Captain Obvious.
Jim McGuire--Okay okay, here we go! Campbell holding a press conference. Doesn't talk about anything but women.............Jesus Christ. Wait a minute, I think my wife gets a massage on Wednesdays. Damnit Campbell!!
Coach--Whoopsie!!!! By the way, we are having a Cougar meeting this Saturday night backstage at the Tin Roof. Our special guest motivational speaker will be none other than Randy Rogers! It looks to be an exciting and informative session. See you all there. We will also have a pep rally Thursday around one led by Langdon "no mic needed" Stanley. YOU CAN'T HIDE THAT COUGAR PRIDE!!!!!!
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