*Coach Hudson approaches the podium in a state of disbelief*
Coach Hudson: Where do I even start? Plain and simple, this is just not the way you want to start a football season. Coming into a new league you always want to make an immediate impact, and this sorry excuse for a team has got to step it up. I want our fans to know that we are hard at work and we are addressing these issues. Soon you will be proud to cheer for the Crusaders. Alright then, I’ll take your questions now.
Reporter: Coach what do you think has been the biggest factor in your team’s losses so far this season?
Coach Hudson: How long do you have?? I guess the main problem right now is that we just aren’t taking advantage of our matchups. We have to execute better, and really get things going, especially on the defensive side of the ball. We’ve had a couple of poor performances by our defense, and I can tell you we are ready to change that.
Reporter: I understand you’ve had to deal with some injuries early on, has that had an effect on the team’s morale?
Coach Hudson: I would be lying if I said it didn’t, but we have stressed to the players that it’s important to stay focused and keep moving forward. With Marques going down in week 1 we were already forced to make changes early. That’s one of the reasons we decided to trade for Calvin, but based on the way Marques was playing before the injury it may have been an even better trade than we expected.
Reporter: What exactly do you mean by that?
Coach Hudson: Well, let’s just say we might not be seeing ole stone hands for quite some time. Next question!
Reporter: Could you talk a little more about the details of the trade?
Coach Hudson: Sure, we sent Matthew Stafford, and Chad Ochocinco to The Pessimists for Calvin Johnson, Matthew Hasselbeck, and Willis McGahee. We felt that Josh could step up and fill the starting role and we couldn’t pass up a player of CJ’s caliber. I don’t think it would be reaching to say we have arguably the three best receivers in the league now. Matt and Willis were key additions also, and they bring much needed experience to the team.
Reporter: How are you game planning this week for Coach Campbell and his Illegal Alien Babies?
Coach Hudson: We’re actually in the process of that now. There’s been talk of them acquiring Tom Brady and Beanie Wells, so we have definitely been keeping that in mind. We want to get to the Quarterback early and hit them, shake em up, cause em to make bad throws. Regardless of who plays, we will be ready. I should also point out we have specifically planned to shut down Steve Smith. He’s had a couple big games and we want that to end this week. Luckily their running attack isn’t as big a problem. On offense we really need Adrian and Josh to bring their A game this week.
Reporter: Thanks for your time coach, is there anything else you’d like to add?
Coach Hudson: I just want to go on record and say that I am absolutely thrilled to be a part of this league! We have a lot of great owners and coaches, and I look forward to a great competitive rest of the year. We’re ready to get our first win this week, it’s time to get the ball rolling. Thank you.
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